Getting Frisky: Airport Sexcapades And How-Tos

Airports are not the most obvious place to have sex, but if you're feeling adventurous, there are a few ways to go about it. It's a federal crime to have sex in an airport, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. From the bathroom to the baggage claim, here are some tips and tricks to having sex in an airport.

How to find a private place in an airport

It's a federal crime to have sex in an airport, and there are cameras everywhere. However, if you're still determined to find a private place, try to find a terminal for a small airline, and go there at a time when there are unlikely to be any flights going out. Keep an eye out for less populated areas of the terminal, and look for an empty bathroom. If you're not flying out, you could also find a secluded area a mile or two down the road. Alternatively, some airports have rooms called MinuteSuites, which are designed with the layover traveller in mind, but they are inside the TSA secured area and cost around $45 an hour.

How to avoid airport security cameras

Having sex in an airport is a federal crime, and there are cameras everywhere. However, if you're still determined to do it, here are some tips on how to avoid airport security cameras.

Firstly, find a terminal for a very small airline, and go there at a time when there are unlikely to be many people around, such as late at night or in the evening. Once you're in the terminal, keep an eye out for less populated areas. If you're going to have sex in a bathroom, don't worry too much about people seeing you both go in. Bathroom sex isn't technically public, and the laws of the TSA only apply once you're in a plane.

If you're looking for a place to have sex that isn't a bathroom, try to find a secluded area a mile or two down the road from the airport. If you're meeting someone at the airport, you could also try to do it in their car.

If you're worried about airport security cameras, you could also try to obscure them by throwing a blanket over them, or you could try to avoid the areas where they are located. You could also try to distract security guards by asking them to check your rolls of film by hand or asking for help finding something you've lost.

How to avoid getting caught by airport staff

Having sex in an airport is a federal crime. There are cameras everywhere, and security is tight. However, if you're determined to go for it, here are some tips to avoid getting caught by airport staff:

Firstly, try to find a terminal for a small airline, preferably at a time when there aren't many flights going out. Late nights or evenings in the US are good options, as flights won't be arriving or departing in the middle of the night. Once you're in the terminal, look for less populated areas and keep an eye out for empty bathrooms. Bathroom sex isn't technically public, and the laws of the TSA only apply once you're on the plane.

If you're not flying out and just want to meet up with someone, consider renting a room in the airport. Some airports have rooms called MinuteSuites, which are designed for layover travellers and cost around $45 an hour. Alternatively, find a secluded area a mile or two down the road from the airport.

If you're picking up or being picked up by your partner, there are a few strategies you can use. When you meet, bend down slowly to pick up your bag from the rotator, then come up slowly and give them a wink. Once you're in the car, make an excuse to go to the trunk and hop on top of them. You can also throw a blanket over yourselves while sitting in the car, but be aware that there are cameras everywhere, so you may be spotted.

How to find a secluded bathroom

Having sex in an airport is a federal crime and there are cameras everywhere. However, if you are determined to go through with it, here are some tips on how to find a secluded bathroom.

Firstly, find a terminal for a small airline, preferably at a time when there are no flights going out. Late night or evening flights are ideal as they are less likely to be busy. Once you are in the terminal, keep an eye out for less populated areas and head towards them. If you can, try to get an idea of where the bathrooms are located beforehand so you don't have to wander around aimlessly. Don't worry too much about people seeing you both go into the bathroom together as bathroom sex isn't technically public.

If you are unable to find a suitable bathroom, there are other options available. Some airports have rooms called MinuteSuites which can be rented by the hour. These rooms are designed for layover travellers and are located inside the TSA secured area, so they may not be suitable if you are not flying out. Alternatively, you can find a secluded area a mile or two down the road from the airport and get it on there. Just be aware that you may be breaking the law and there could be consequences if you are caught.

How to find a quiet terminal

If you're looking to have sex at an airport, you'll need to find a quiet terminal. Here are some tips to help you do that:

Firstly, look for a terminal that serves a small airline, preferably one with flights to less popular destinations. These terminals tend to be less busy, especially during off-peak hours. For example, if the airline offers flights to Southeast Asia, the terminal is likely to be quieter during US evenings or late at night.

Keep an eye out for less populated areas within the terminal. You can also try to find an empty bathroom, but be aware that there are often cameras in airports, so choose a stall carefully. If you're feeling adventurous, you can try to find a co-ed or family bathroom, which may offer more privacy.

If you're willing to spend some money, some airports have rooms called MinuteSuites, which can be rented by the hour. These rooms are designed for layover travellers and are located inside the TSA secured area, so they offer a more private and comfortable option. However, keep in mind that these rooms can be expensive, typically costing around $45 per hour.

Finally, if you're unable to find a suitable location within the airport, consider moving a mile or two down the road. Look for secluded areas or parking lots where you can have some privacy. Remember to be discreet and respectful of your surroundings, as public indecency laws may apply.

Frequently asked questions